Divorce Therapy:

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." - Anonymous

The end of a relationship is never easy. Even if a relationship ends on good terms, it is still difficult. Buddhist philosophy suggests that depression, anger, sadness, and the host of other emotions you may experience during a separation are caused by your attachments. It could be an attachment to who you believed you were partnered to, or an attachment to a future you created in your mind that you now feel you have lost, or perhaps an attachment to a perception of yourself that you now believe has become tainted by, or ruined by, the judgment of others… or these attachments and many others combined which can create within you a negative state of mind.

Letting Go:

Letting go of your attachments while processing your previous relationship is necessary to move forward with your life. Otherwise you can prolong the healing process and/or find yourself connecting with another partner that resembles your last. People who are connected to someone who has trouble with abusive behaviour, anger, inattentiveness, co dependency, neediness, drugs and/or alcohol, or any number of other issues can pick the same type of individual for their next relationship. This is extremely common given that most of our species appears to be too busy for self-reflection. Disbelief, confusion, depression, and forms of anxiety including post traumatic stress disorder, social phobia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder can affect you during this transition. Without seeking help these issues can continue to affect you years afterward. This is not meant to frighten you, but so many people are either afraid of being a burden to others or judged by others that they do not seek help. Instead they continue to live in an unstable mind and repeat the patterns they have yet to resolve.

Talking It Out:

Overcoming a negative state of mind takes work. It may seem impossible, you may feel completely drained of energy, or you may be so angry and confused that you cannot think clearly, but taking the time to process what you went through, and how it affected you, will make the transition smoother. Processing it by talking it out, or by journaling it, will help speed up the process. There is a difference between constructive talk and ruminating, this is why it is beneficial to seek counsel. A counselor can help you communicate productively, rather than repeating the same thing over and over again as if your mind has become caught in a loop.  

Your Health

As with any transition, it is vital for you to take care of your health. Some over eat, some loose an excessive amount of weight. Some become lethargic while others become so anxious that they sleep an average of three hours each night. The emotions released during a separation can be devastating to your biology. This is why it is so important to eat healthy foods, exercise, and get rest. For example, drinking Garden of Life’s “Green Superfood” in the morning, then doing Yoga in the evening (even if you do not feel like it) can bring your mind back to focus, detox your body, and prepare you for a more restful sleep. Pranayama (Yoga breath work) has been shown to reduce depression, anxiety, and worry just after a few sessions. Avoid depressive music, movies, and books. Keep the input you place in your mind uplifting. Reiki sessions and massage therapy have also proven to be beneficial in calming and restoring the mind and body. Above all watch what you eat. You would not pour soda on a dying plat, or feed Cheetos to a sick baby, so treat yourself the same.

Mediation Between You, Your Partner, And Your Children:

A counselor can also serve as a mediator. More often than not a couple finds that they are unable to move out immediately, and that some planning will be involved for the separation. A counselor can help the transition run more smoothly, and keep the communication civil while alleviating any misunderstandings. A counselor can also help children deal with the separation by giving them someone to talk to that is not directly involved.

Help Is Available:

Given that over 50% of marriages end in divorce, there is a lot of help available to those who need it. Divorce group therapy is wonderful in that it allows you to hear the stories of others so that you can relate to others and others can relate to you. There are some books on how to deal with going through a divorce, but books are often generalized and designed to sell. Counseling gives you the individual attention that group therapy and books cannot provide. Some churches offer free marriage/divorce counseling, but some find it difficult to speak openly in front of someone they know. Since individual counseling is sometimes costly, it is often best to use as many resources as possible as each will give you something you may find valuable.

In An Abusive Relationship?:

If you are a woman in an abusive relationship in Dallas, and need immediate help, there are several abuse centers available to you, here are two of them:

Hopes Door:

Genesis Shelter:

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." - Victoria Holt




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